


I Don’t Want To Go Home

by allaboutme7



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Dark Aunt May, Gen, Irondad, I’m self-projecting onto Peter a lot, Mental Abuse, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker-centric, Sorry Pete, Tony will come in - just not yet, Verbal Abuse, bad mental health, basically my experience last week, but I’ll give a happy ending, eventually, spiderson
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2019-08-26 18:35:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16686775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allaboutme7/pseuds/allaboutme7
Summary: “God, he didn’t even want to think about it. But his mind kept replaying it, over and over - like falling into a dark, swirling void. Last night - his soul was crushed, any hopes of him being okay in the future seemed bleak. He couldn’t do it anymore - couldn’t live with her. Not like this, not while that continued happening.“





	I Don’t Want To Go Home

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t own Marvel or Spider-Man in any way. Only in my dreams.

It was hard - pretending you were okay. Peter already knew that, was well aware of that. But it had never been  _ this _ hard. Any moment - he felt like he could break. He knew today wouldn’t be good, especially with what happened  _ last night.  _

 

God, he didn’t even want to think about it. But his mind kept replaying it, over and over - like falling into a dark, swirling void.  _ Last night _ \- his soul was crushed, any hopes of him being okay in the future seemed bleak. He couldn’t do it anymore - couldn’t live with her. Not like this, not while  _ that  _ continued happening.

 

He knew he was going to have a breakdown at some point. (Hell, he had one while walking to school. He had gasped for air, with tears running down his face, wishing one of the cars passing by would just run him over - just to stop the pain, and pure  _ panic  _ in him.) But he didn’t know  _ when. _

 

It was like roulette. Was it going to be first period? Second? Or maybe before school even started? Who knew! As soon as he walked into Midtown High - he started to tear up. How was he supposed to keep his composure all day when he was reacting like this to  _ just walking in. _

 

He was early to school - for once. But he didn’t think he’d be capable of handling any crime right now, with the emotional state he was in. It wouldn’t go well. So instead, he went to the cafeteria. Why? Peter didn’t know, he just wanted to go somewhere and that was the first place that his feet dragged him to. He wasn’t going to eat anything - he knew he couldn’t even if he wanted to. His metabolism would suffer, but hey, not like he had energy to do  _ anything  _ anyway. 

 

He sat down at a table close to the wall and put his head down in his arms. He stayed like that for maybe around ten or fifteen minutes before he felt the presence of another person sit down across from him. He glanced up. Ned. He was oblivious to the emotional state his friend was in, or he chose to ignore it. But, knowing Ned, it was probably the former. 

 

“Hey Peter! Look what I finally finished yesterday,” He seemed happy, so Peter decided to act normal with all his strength - and he thinks it worked.

 

“Your English project? Dude, nice! You kept stressing out about it, finally it’s done. Maybe you can stop bugging me about it too,” He gives a fake half smile. Ned practically bounced in his seat.

 

“I’m so glad I got this done! Honestly, you’re lucky you have English next semester. You’re going to  _ hate  _ this project - you have to create a five page essay about a topic, create a slideshow with at least thirty slides, make a visual, and present it all in class. It sucks.”

 

Peter rolled his eyes, feeling some humor actually spark in his chest.

 

“Yeah yeah, I know. You’ve told me that a thousand times,” Ned pouted. Then, his eyes shifted, remembering something Peter had brought up a couple days ago.

 

“Hey, don’t you have that thing you were forced into doing for one of your classes today? What was that again?” He asked. Peter’s mood dropped a little at the reminder. 

 

“They moved it to tomorrow.  _ Thankfully because I definitely wouldn’t be able to do it today, _ ” he said, muttering the last part under his breath.

 

“What was that?”

 

“Nothing, nothing,” he quickly recovered, “but I’m still really stressed about it. Why do  _ I  _ even have to do this stupid thing? It’s like I’m being punished - I got the best grade in all of the classes and so they put this huge responsibility on me and make me do this. And - and if I fail, I’ll bring shame on everybody! Ugh, I can’t do this, especially right now,” he ranted a bit. Forget having a breakdown over  _ last night _ , he was going to have a breakdown over this.

 

“Peter! Geez, calm down. You’re alright, it’s not that big of a deal, is it? I don’t think you’ll bring shame - they just exaggerated it. I mean, all you have to do is, what? Give a professional and formal presentation and answer some questions from some military dudes. You can do that!” Ned tried to help - he really did.

 

“I think you’re forgetting the fact that I’m being asked questions out of a book with  _ 750 questions  _ and I have to answer all of them correct.  _ AND  _ it’s a competition. I don’t want to do this,” Peter groaned.

 

“Eh, yeah that sounds stressful,” Ned winced, “But the worst thing that can happen is you don’t do well, but nothing will  _ happen! _ You won’t get in like, trouble or have any consequences for doing it bad - if you do. I mean, it’s not like they’ll  _ actually  _ shame you, right?” 

 

Peter put his hands over his face, peeking out between us fingers.

 

“Yeah,” He lied. He knew they actually would. The guy who had done the same thing that he was doing before had talked to him (his name was Lin). Apparently after Lin got third place, nobody spoke to him for at least a week, and when they did, they had started making fun of him and bullying him. Which - Peter really didn’t need, he already had Flash for that. Lin said they were still doing it to this day, and it had been two years since he had done it. 

 

So, Peter really didn’t need that on his back. But, he was forced to do it anyway.

 

“Are you okay? You’ve been acting weird,” Ned commented, sounding worried. Peter stiffened, before forcing himself to relax

 

“Yeah - yeah I’m fine. I just, had a  _ really  _ hard night last night,” he took a shaky breath in. Ned opened his mouth to respond, but before he could, the bell rang. Signaling everyone that they had five minutes to get to class.

 

Peter dragged himself up and out of the seat, as did Ned, but with more dignity. 

 

“I’ll text you during class?” Ned stated - but it sounded more like a question.

 

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Peter nodded.

 

“Alright, see you in fourth period!” Peter saluted, and as soon as Ned was out of his sight, his shoulders completely dropped, he didn’t have the effort to keep them up anymore.

 

He trekked to his first period, Spanish class, which he was not looking forward to. As he sat down, the bell rang, and class began. 

  
  


XxxxxxxxxX

 

Spanish sucked, to put it simply. Ned said he couldn’t talk as soon as he got into class - he was due to present that project for English today. Halfway through he was pulled out by his guidance counselor, who wanted to talk to him about his upcoming plans. When his guidance counselor (Ms Smith) first came and knocked on the door, asking for him, he swore his heart stopped. Did something happen? Did they find out what happened  _ last night _ ? He panicked - but, oh. She just wanted to talk about college. So, that was exhausting. 

 

When first period finally ended, and he arrived in Chemistry, his second period, he practically collapsed in his seat. Peter was exhausted, he just wanted to crawl up into a ball and cry, alone. He loved chemistry - he  _ really  _ did, but he didn’t feel like doing anything today. MJ was also in his class, which he didn’t know if that was a good thing or a bad thing at the moment. She was always very aware of what was going on with him - and was entirely too perceptive. 

 

But, as she sat down next to him, on his right, she didn’t do a thing. Just said a minuscule ‘hey loser’ before pulling out her chemistry binder. He was relieved she didn’t pry too much, and noted in his head to thank her for that sometime later, when he was more balanced. 

 

Flash, who sat in front of him, turned around to say something during class, but Peter guesses he decided he looked too beaten up already and left Peter alone, for once. Which, to be honest, shocked Peter. Did he really look so bad that his bully decided to give him a break? Whatever, he would take it, he needed it anyway. 

 

Today they were doing a lab - unfortunate timing, really. His partner was lackluster and clearly just wanted to copy off of whatever he did. Except - he did terrible. He could even do the experiment all the way. His hands were shaking so bad and he couldn’t see (the goggles plus his eyes constantly tearing up made it very hard), he broke three test tubes.  _ Three. _

 

Mr Harrington had said it was fine, that they were so easy to break, and didn’t cost anything (“Only twenty cents a piece, Peter. It’s fine!”). He still felt like shit about it. He was supposed to be a chemist for god's sake. How was he supposed to do that when he screwed up so badly? 

 

When the bell rang and Mr Harrison’s back was turned, Peter slipped a dollar on his desk. Despite not having much money and him saying it wasn't a big deal, he felt it was necessary.

 

Ned didn’t say anything during second period either, but that was fine. He could without it, if he had to. It was only as he sat down in his third period class that he got a message.

 

**_Ned “Guy in the chair” Leeds:_ **

**r u okay. mj said you looked like crap in chem and you did terrible**

 

Wow. Thanks MJ. He knew it wasn’t her fault, and she was only trying to help, but it still hurt. 

 

**_Peter:_ **

**Fine. Just had a bad night last night**

  
  


**_Ned “Guy in the chair” Leeds:_ **

**that’s what you said earlier to. wat happened?**

 

His breathing hitched, he looked around, seeing if the teacher noticed, but thankfully, he didn’t. He was talking about some trip next week they were doing.

 

**_Peter:_ **

**Please, for the love of god Ned, use punctuation every once and awhile**

 

He typed out the reply, kind of hoping to distract Ned. He didn’t think it would work, but he had to try. 

 

**_Ned “Guy in the chair” Leeds:_ **

**I know what you’re doing**

 

**_Peter:_ **

**I don’t know wh**

 

“Peter?” His teachers voice cuts through any thought process he had. His head snapped up, and his hands instantly went to hide his phone under his thigh. 

 

“Yes sir?” He asked, nervous. He blinked back tears for the hundredth time that day.

 

“You’re going to go to another classroom and practice the presentation your doing tomorrow. Okay?” 

 

“But sir, I’ve done that the last two classes. I’m missing the assignments from those classes - you said you would exempt them but they say zero on my grade,” he licked his lips nervously. He had been meaning to bring this up, just didn’t think he would be doing that today. His teacher narrowed his eyes slightly.

 

“Peter,” he started, “I will, sometime soon. You need to practice though - you don’t want to fail,  _ do you _ ?” Peter’s gaze lowered.

 

“Of course not,” he replied. The teacher smile, satisfied.

 

“Good. Okay, Marco and Lima can go with you to judge. You can use room 118.” The students mentioned all got up, and made their way out of class, heading towards the room assigned.

 

“So,” one of the kids, Marco, he thinks, starts, “you’ve been studying a lot? Right?”

 

Peter blinks slowly, thinking on what to say. With everything going on, he couldn’t study. Like, at all. With everything going on at home and what happened  _ last night  _ he really wasn’t prepared and hadn’t been studying. He felt tears starting to form but he shoved them back in with all the emotional strength he had.

 

“Yeah. Yeah, I’ve been trying to,” He half-lied. Sure, he had been trying to, but he hasn’t really at all. The kid hums lightly in response.  

 

They arrived at the classroom to see another teacher sitting at a desk.

 

“Oh! Hey, I’m supposed to be watching over you for this. Your teacher told me all about it beforehand,” the teacher grinned.

 

“I’m Mr Chaka by the way,” he continued. He clapped his hands together.

 

“So! Are should guys ready to start this? Your teacher said to go through five full presentation practices before lunch, which, is in forty-five minutes, so we should probably get started.” 

 

Five practices? The presentation  _ once  _ took around twenty minutes. He was supposed to do  _ five  _ of them? He usually studied for some time before doing it too - but now he didn’t have that time. Marco and Lima nodded, set their bags down and started taking about something he didn’t care enough to listen to.

 

Peter brought out the handbook out of his backpack in one swift movement and hurriedly tried to study  _ some.  _ His breath came out shaky, and he tried to read the pages. He couldn’t see anything though - the words were blurry. He was shaking too - he realized, tears had started to actually fall out of his eyes before he could stop them. 

 

Oh. So the breakdown he knew was going to happen eventually happened  _ now.  _ In his third period. Probably the worst time it  _ could’ve  _ happened. But hey, that’s his life. What did he expect? Everything always turns out the worst whether it’s at home, school, during patrol, when he’s-

 

“Peter? Oh, Peter. Come here, c’mon,” Mr Chaka gently steered him out into the hallway, into a corner. That was new. A teacher cared - one he didn’t even know that well, at that.

 

His chest was heaving, and he couldn’t control the wave of emotions overcoming him. It was the most he’s ever felt at once in years - he didn’t like it. Mr Chaka was still standing in front of him, surprisingly.

 

“Hey, Peter? What’s wrong? Is there anything I can do?” He asked gently. Peter considered saying something for a minute, but he was struggling to make the words form.

 

“I-I, I don’t know,” he cried harder. He wanted to say something, he really did, but he didn’t know if he could physically say it.

 

“If there’s anything I can do, you can tell me. I’m right here.” The soft and reassuring words said by the teacher helped a lot, if he was honest.

 

“I…..I-I,” Peter took a shaky, deep breath, “I...don’t w-want to... go  _ home _ .” He actually said it. It was hard saying it out loud, and the words echoing in his ears and down the halls didn’t help at all. 

 

“You..don’t want to go home? Hey, let’s go to the guidance office, Okay? C’mon, it’s okay,” Mr Chaka murmured. He started walking in the direction of the office before peeking into the classroom they were in before, commenting to the two boys still sitting in there.

 

“You kids can head on back to the classroom. I’ll talk to your teacher later,” he told them. They shrugged apathetically and shouldered their bags on their shoulders and walked away. 

 

Me Chaka beckoned Peter forward with his hands and guided him to where they were going. A good thing, too. He wouldn’t have been able to make it there on his own right now.

 

As they arrived, Peter’s steady flow of tears never wavered. He was sure he’d be embarrassed about it tomorrow but right now he just didn’t care anymore. Mr Chaka opened the guidance office door and sat him down in one of the chair. He went to the desk and spoke in a quiet voice, though Peter could still hear it.

 

“Hey, can he see his guidance counselor? There’s some, uh, personal issues he needs to talk about,” he gestured to Peter, who glanced away, pretending to not listen in.

 

“His guidance counselor isn’t here right now, she’s in a meeting with another teacher. However, it should be finished soon so he can wait until they’re done,” she replied.

 

The teacher chewed his lip lightly in thought.

 

“Yeah, Okay, that’s fine. Thank you,” he walked towards Peter. “Peter? You - you’ll have to wait a bit, unfortunately. There's nothing I can do about that. You’ll wait here, but if you need me, I’ll be in the guidance office, Okay?” He asked gently. Peter nodded his head, and with that, Mr Chaka walked away.

 

Now he could only wait.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Soooooooo, I needed to vent in some way and so I chose to do it this way. As soon as I had the idea, I stopped everything and wrote this chapter for around an hour straight and that’s how this was made.  
> A question for the readers; what do you guys think happened to Peter? I’m interested in what y’all have to think. (Hint; No physical abuse and the tags have Dark!May in there).  
> Thank you for reading! I hoped you...enjoyed? Yeah.
> 
> -Logan


End file.
